Thank You, Doll

*Thursday, Sept. 29th, 2011: Today I am grateful for "pick-me-ups". This week has been a bit poopy with the transition, the crabbiness of my co-workers and all the changes at my workplace and yesterday was probably a 6 out of 10 as far as how good the day was. I taught my computer class from 1-2pm and then went to my office to eat my lunch. As I was eating my lunch, my phone rang from a (410) number...hmmm...who could this be. Well, it was none other than my program coordinator! I had totally forgotten that he was going to call so it was a pleasant surprise. We spoke for an hour about how everything has been going and he was so helpful with his advice and support. He told me, "maybe this year isn't about growth with your job, maybe it's about inner growth like how to deal with confrontations." It made me think that maybe because my year last year was so externally driven (my relationships with my job, my co-workers, my family, JVC, etc.) that maybe this year has been presented to me for a more internal purpose (self-growth and intimate relationship growth). Then, when I got home from going to happy hour after work with two of my roomies, I got a letter from a JV friend serving in Portland! What a pick-me-up! It was great to hear from him and hear about his experiences so far as a JV and his advice for me and my struggles. It was such a great ending to my day. So today, I am grateful for pick-me-ups in all forms of communication.

*Friday, Sept. 30th, 2011: Today I am grateful for a person, a senior who is a complete joy and blessing in my life. *Ms. Hurley lives in the nicest senior residential center we offer within our agency. It is a little fancier, to say the least, than the other residences we are in charge of. She is always early to lunch, she walks herself over to her same table each day and pushes her walker to the side and sits down. She smiles a huge smile at me and says, "Hello, Doll!" and sits down. She pulls out a paper napkin, flattens it out on her table and pulls out saltine cracker packets and butter she supplied for herself as a pre-lunch snack. It's so cute. I asked her once, why do you bring your own crackers? and she said, "because it could take forever for them to finally get the food ready for us and I'm hungry and grouchy!" One day, Ms. Hurley had a huge Halloween bulk sized bag full of mini-tootsie rolls and she was walking her little behind all around the dining hall, handing them out to the other seniors. She was smiling and putting them on the table as slyly as she could. She is just a little fire ball of compassion. I always serve her first because she's my favorite and she always calls me doll. She asks how I"m doing, if I found a man yet and if I still like DC. I hand her her tray and respond accordingly to her questions and she always ends it with, "thank you, doll." I love her and want to be like her when I'm 85 years old. She just shows me that although your body may be pooping out, your spirit and your attitude don't have to. So to you, Ms. Hurley, "thank you, doll."


*Name has been changed for obvious reasons.

"Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around."

*Wednesday, Sept. 28th, 2011: Taken from Bill Watterson, "Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around" is the theme of the day. I came into work a little tired, because I had stayed up kind of late last night trying to write a letter to one of my friends back home and the first thing I hear is my new supervisor scolding me for something I forgot to do and then pointing out how I messed up a week earlier and how bad that was. I felt like a child. It put me in a no good, rotten mood.

Then, I decided to sit in on the Beginners Computer Class and it immediately lifted my spirits. The seniors are so excited to be learning and so excited to finally understand the computer. It made me smile to laugh with them and joke with them and watch them interact with the computer teacher (who is really good at what he does). They brightened my spirits and I went into my 11am Advanced Computer Class with a smile and readiness to kick some butt and have some fun. We did too...we went over a few things in review of MS Excel and my two seniors had a great time with me, laughing and joking about silly things. Then it was time to go back to my office...dun dun dun.

I came back to my office, motivated to plan my next Advanced Computer Class lesson and heated up my lunch and it was great. I planned my next lesson, finished the curriculum for the Beginner Class, the course write ups and the contact list for the computer classes. I was even able to research possible options for us in the lab when it comes to seniors with disabilities, like tremors. Good stuff...a solid five hours of feeling good.

Then, the ugliness crept about in my office. First, the secretary seemed a bit moody, she didn't even say good morning to me or talk to me today. Then, my one ally was just complaining up a storm of how nobody does their job in this place and she always has to cover their butt. Then, another co-worker just heatedly said, "that's it. I am so done with this. I am in just the worst mood now and this is unacceptable."(no clue what she was referring to, I'm trying to keep to myself in my own, blissful world of computers and seniors). She then goes over to my one ally and they just start firing back and forth, fueling each other's rants about this and that and trash talking everyone...

It is from this place in time, that I am blogging. I am in this current environment right now and saw this quote and thought of my current environment..."Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around." The bad mood bug is just running rampant around this office and I'm just trying to keep to myself so in the spirit of what I started this blog for, I am grateful for my seniors. For their ability to make me laugh, make me happy and pull me out of a funk instead of spreading it around. I appreciate their jokes and good spirit, even if it was only for five hours.

Finding Fellowship in All the Right Places

*Saturday, Sept. 24th, 2011: I am grateful for productivity today. Today I got up, cleaned my room, hemmed a pair of pants, did some laundry, got a grocery list together and cleaned the dining room AND talked to my mama on the phone for an hour. All before going to a Volunteer Potluck at 7pm that night. I felt so accomplished and ready to take on Monday when it finally came (I am actually wearing my newly hemmed pants right now). After the volunteer event, we went out for my roommate's birthday and got to see Adams Morgan all crazy and night-life-y. A lot got done today so I am grateful for the motivation and productiveness of the day.

*Sunday, Sept. 25th, 2011: I am grateful for sports fellowship today. After I went grocery shopping, I walked to a bar called Duffy's to watch the NY Giants take on the Philadelphia Eagles and then the Jets game vs. the Oakland Raiders. It was a solid five-six hours of football watching and I enjoyed every minute of it with two of my roommates, a guy from the other DC house, his brother and one of my roommate's co-workers. We laughed, screamed and were the rowdy bunch at the bar, which was fun. We all seemed to enjoy ourselves (even though the Jets lost) and it was a great day/night of hanging out.



*Monday, Sept. 26th, 2011: I am grateful for the little time I got to have (a little over a month) with my current staff. Today I served lunch at one of our sites and immediately after, I headed to our last staff meeting as a big group. If I haven't blogged about this before, here's the deal: we are going from a staff of 17 (on site) and 13 (off site) so 30 to a staff of, get ready for this, seven. The other 23 are transferring over to a new agency and we will no longer be working together; which is sad. So today we had our final staff meeting. We talked for about two hours about the changes and just checking in with one another. As we went around the table, I couldn't help but feel a little sad that these people I have just gotten to know, are leaving. But this is a gratitude journal so I am grateful for the time I have had with them and will cherish these past 40 days together.

*Tuesday, Sept. 27th, 2011: I am grateful for reversed stereotypes and opportunities to recognize that everyone is human. Today, I worked from 9am-noon today at one of our sites which is actually a day shelter for homeless men. I had only been there once before, my second day on the job, so I was a little intimidated to go back by myself and run the facility. I arrived and was greeted by a few men, one being a 73 year old Asian man who repeatedly kept telling me he wanted my number and needed to find a pretty girlfriend. Then, a man came up to me and introduced himself and talked with me about how I needed to stop biting my nails (apparently eating Jell-O is supposed to make me stop). Then, another man sat down with me and talked to me about how he doesn't trust people but I looked like someone he could trust off the bat...I looked "cool." The last man was kind of stand-off-ish when I first saw him and he made me a little nervous, so when he got up, walked across the room and sat down with me, I got a little uneasy. He started by asking me questions about myself, where I was from, what my husband did, where I lived, what I went to school for, why the heck I am volunteering instead of working and if I liked working where I was currently. I answered all his questions, asked him a few of my own; he shared with me his health issues and lack of housing due to some unfortunate circumstances with a crappy landlord. He's a diabetic so they had to pull out all of his teeth and he lost his apartment because the roof flooded, the landlord lied and said my new friend did it and wouldn't fix it and my new friend couldn't afford a lawyer so he was forced to the streets. At the end of our 20 minute conversation, my new friend got up and said, "well I've rented enough of your time. Thank you." I said, "it was great talking with you, thanks." He said, "yeah, I'm glad I came over because when you first walked in, I thought yous was stuck up." A little astonished that he was so blunt with his initial type-casting, I said, "well, I hope I changed your mind." And he said, "you sure did. You so down to earth, it was great chatting with you." It's funny how in that situation, we both assumed things and cast judgement on each other...life is funny. I am grateful for reversed stereotypes and opportunities to recognize that everyone is human.

Easing Our Troubles Away

Friday, Sept. 23rd, 2011: I'm realizing that I'm doing these entries in a "day after the fact" kind of way in that I am blogging about today's blessings with yesterdays events! Hahaha...anyway, after work yesterday, I went over to my roommate's agency and ate dinner with them and hung out with her "clients" a little bit afterwards. I sat down next to a man* let's call him Arnie, who is dying of lung cancer. He was so feisty and funny, I didn't quite know what to make of him. When I went to put my dinner plate away, I saw Arnie outside on the porch and I went and joined him. When I got outside, Arnie had an entire still life set up, props put just where he wanted them and tons of art stuff outside like charcoal, pastels and pencils. I felt like I walked into heaven. He was smoking a cigarette, with his canvas firmly placed on his lap...I looked at the sketch and was blown away...he's an incredible artist. So I asked him, "what do you usually use?" He looked a little startled at his sudden company and said, "well, ya know, mostly charcoal, or pastels, I'll use anything I can get my hands on really. Why, you an artist?" I laughed and said, "well I used to be." He looked at me and said, "well, shoot, you know you never lose it. It never goes away." I laughed again...he caught me...I responded, "Well, Mr. Arnie, I haven't done it in a long time so I'm afraid I'm a little rusty is all."

We went on chattering about what I medium I used and how long I had done it for and why I stopped and he finally said, "I have enough stuff for you to borrow, here, take this." And he handed me his half finished sketch. "I'm going to wrap mine up and then we're going to get you something and get you going. No use wasting a talent, I wanna see what you got." I tried to talk him out of it and tried to tell him I didn't want to, but he knew, he knew the itch I had, the longing to have the stain of charcoal on my fingertips and trance-like state of mind so focused on shapes and scale and color. He wrapped up his sketch and said, "OK, baby girl, now it's your time. Let's see what you got."

I began to sketch the lattice with it's bright lime green leaves exploding from it's base and deep purple leaves interwoven between the greens. It was so vibrant and eye-catching. Mr. Arnie had to go inside to take his meds and while he was gone, my fingers had at it...I just dove into my trance and let my hands do the talking. When Mr. Arnie finally came back he said, "I don't know why you ain't doin' this no more. You a damn artist and you could be makin' money at that." I smiled and laughed. My roommate came back out and said, "so Mr. Arnie, how is she?" He said, "I don't know what she was talkin' about or why she ain't doing it no more but she is an artist. That's beautiful right there." I laughed and just kept to my work; I was in the zone.

About 20 minutes later, I realized how late it had gotten and realized it was time to go. Mr. Arnie asked, "well, you comin' back now, aren't ya?" And I smiled and said, "of course, I need you to teach me some things." He said, very seriously, "I can't teach you nothin'. You better than me" (not true a true statement at all) and he continued, "I'll save this for you so you can finish it next time you're here." I said, "that sounds like a deal, Mr. Arnie. It was great to meet you."

People find joy in so many different things and I continuously am happily surprised when I meet someone, who in any other lifetime, on paper, shouldn't have any similarities to me and low and behold, they do. Mr. Arnie and I shared something so neat last night, beyond whatever the easel depicts later and I am beyond grateful for that gift today. He re-ignited my passion for art and re-ignited my need to love complete strangers. Thank you, Mr. Arnie...you are incredible at just being you and drawing it like you see it.

*Names have been changed for obvious reasons.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Wednesday, Sept. 21st, 2011: The days are getting crazier the closer we get to the big transition in my agency on Oct. 1st. People are getting their vacation time in before they leave, people are just not showing up, they are leaving the agency early, etc. This means we have been short-staffed since Wednesday of last week. After teaching my computer class, I ran over to one of our residences to give a speech on Advocacy. After giving the speech, I ran back to Emmaus for our final staff meeting before the big transition. As I walked into the building, Aretha Franklin's "Respect" was blaring our of our dining area. When I went to investigate, I came upon three seniors (two women, one man) dancing and getting down with their bad selves. They were cleaning up after lunch and are a part of our kitchen crew. The women were dropping it lower than I could and I am 1/3 of their age and the man said, "oh, Miss Katie's here...hey all, we need to show Miss Katie the senior dance!" He proceeded to move his one leg back and forth, as if grinding a cigarette into the ground. It was hilarious and we all had a good time laughing and enjoying the few moments of down time we got. Today I am grateful for Aretha Franklin for reminding me to stop and smell the roses and sometimes, dance among them.

Thursday, Sept. 22nd, 2011: So my past posts have been about Troy Davis and this will be my final one about him, I promise. Last night, he was set to be executed at 7pm when the the U.S. Supreme Court stepped in at 6:45pm to delay the execution and review the evidence (the fourth time some higher power has intervened and pro-longed Davis' execution). I can't imagine what was going through Davis' mind or the minds of his family...so cruel to bring him that close time and time again, only to delay it time and time again. After four hours of reviewing the evidence, the supreme court chose to not halt the execution and at 11:08pm yesterday night, Troy Davis was put to death for a crime he possibly didn't commit. It's hard to find gratitude in that, it's hard to find the silver lining to such a dark and sad cloud. I want to honor the life of Troy Davis but also honor the commitment I made to myself to find the good in each day, but today my heart is heavy and my soul is sad. The only gratitude I can find is this: I am grateful for Troy Davis. It is sad, and unfortunate that it takes the execution of a possibly innocent man for people to pay attention to the flaws in our justice system and the injustice that is the death penalty but I am grateful for his life as someone who spoke out and shed light on the death penalty. I pray for a greater respect for life.

A Walk Home From Work

Tuesday, Sept. 20th, 2011: Today I am grateful for wake up calls...for chance encounters with people. On my way home from work yesterday, I stepped out of my building at 5:02pm onto 9th and P Street and immediately to my left was a middle-aged man, worn down and ragged and I bid him my usual "hello" accompanied with a smile and I continued on my way. He locked his glazed over eyes with mine and said, "sister, sister! can you help me out?" I looked over my shoulder and turned around; he was slumping over and trying to keep his head up straight. He continued, "can you spare me some money? I won't even get something to drink with it. I'll buy food. I am so hungry." I looked at him, with my eyebrows raised in a sympathetic arch, "I have no money, no cash at all. I'm sorry." I turned away and he said, "not even nine pennies? You don't even have nine pennies?"

Now I don't know why I stopped, or why I even entertained his plea for so long, but I turned around and said, "ya know what, I can look. I can look to see if I have any change, but I don't think I do." So I walked back over to him, put my backpack down and said, "let me see what I can find." As I was rummaging through my bag, he said, "my name is Michael, what is your name?" In between pushing my umbrella aside and shifting my lunchbox, I said, "my name is Katie and it's nice to meet you, Michael." He responded, "Katie is a beautiful name. We should write a book together." Still searching for change, I said, "well that works for me. I love writing." Just then I found a dime and said, "hey! look here, I found 10 cents! Here ya go, Michael. I'm sorry that's all I have." He took it, gave me a straight and very serious look as he straightened himself up as I threw my backpack over my shoulder and headed to leave, Michael said, "and sister, don't go judging yourself too hard about it; you're not sorry."

His parting words resonated with me until now and probably will for the rest of my life. This idea of "sorry". The idea that although I gave him basically all I had, I wasn't truly, deeply sorry for not giving him more...I mean, I didn't go home and beat myself up about it or cry myself to sleep about it. In many respects, if I hadn't of stopped to even talk to Michael, than I wouldn't have even remembered seeing him or passing him by on the streets. He would've just been another homeless man I passed by and didn't put much stock in. But Michael's parting words challenged me in many ways but most specifically, to take the extra moment and, although I have nothing to give, be truly sincere in my interactions with people. If I ever write a book, I think I have my title now: "Don't Judge Yourself Too Hard About Not Being Sorry"...thanks Michael, I saw Jesus in you today.

This One's for Troy

My gratitude was felt pretty deeply these past few days and my prayers have been running even deeper. I am grateful for time to devote to things I believe in and I am grateful for life.



Friday, Sept. 16th, 2011: We went to a rally/march/protest today in honor of Global Day of Solidarity for Troy Davis. Troy Davis has been sitting on death row since 1991 and has been incarcerated since 1989. He has lived through three different execution dates that were later postponed and is now facing his fourth on Sept. 21st. Troy is most likely innocent for the murder he's been accused of and there is a sizable amount of doubt surrounding his case. Today, I am grateful for people who helped make me hope for a better tomorrow. Being around 200 people who all believed so strongly that the death penalty was wrong and that Troy was convicted under really shady circumstances gave me hope for the abolishment of the capitol punishment all together one day.



(From left to right, my roommate, Colleen, me and a JV in the other DC house, Kelly)

Saturday, Sept. 17th, 2011: Today was a crazy day and Troy's story followed me the entire weekend. He kept popping into my mind and I couldn't get him out of it so I went for a walk. That walk led me all the way down 7th Street, to the National Archives Building and then all the way to the Holocaust Museum. I went in and was a changed woman. I guess the idea of humans hurting and destroying other human beings under ignorant and false pretenses kind of followed me around this weekend. The set up of the museum from the walls, to the floors, to the sound bites they chose to use to the actual artifacts are all part of this huge, breath-sucking exhibit you experience as you walk through the museum. It was phenomenal and I will take any or all of my visitors to this museum.

Sunday, Sept. 18th, 2011: I am grateful for God today. I went to church on Sunday at 12:30pm at St. Augustine's, which I'm liking more and more each time I visit, and I felt God more than I have in a long time. A man got up to the podium and sang a beautiful song about how the Lord is near to all who call upon Him. He had a voice that melted my heart and passion that made my soul leap with life. It was beautiful and it was full of love and life and I just kept thinking about Troy. I just kept coming back to him; to his family; his life; his choices as a 21-year-old so many, many years ago; his thoughts now after sitting on death row for almost 20 years; his dreams; his hopes; his laugh; his cry and his devote faith in God. I prayed that entire Mass for Troy and I will continue to pray for him until my heart feels like all things are OK with the world.

Monday, Sept. 19th, 2011: I woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach because today is the day. Today is the day that Troy's attorneys will go to the Georgia Board of Pardons and Paroles and defend Troy one last time. Today is the day that the metaphorical "sh*t" will hit the fan. I've felt heavy all day...like something is weighing on my shoulders. I read online today the responses of many pro-capitol punishment people and it just made me sad. It made me mourn for those who are hurting so badly that they can't see love within the pain; they can't see forgiveness within the hurt and they are cowering towards evil and destruction instead of compassion and redemption. I saw pastors posting things about "may the scum be executed soon" and mothers writing, "I hope he gets all that he deserves. The death penalty is for crimes like this. God bless America."

I see a lot of mixed up logic here. Jesus Christ (if you are a Christian) is a prime example of being wrongfully accused for a crime He didn't commit and then being sentenced to death for it. There are 138 men who have been exonerated since 1973 off of death row. 138 people who were innocent and served an average of 9.3 years on death row. In my mind, that is 138 reasons why capitol punishment is a faulty system. Even if only one was later proven to be innocent of a crime that he/she was placed on death row for, that's enough for me to re-examine our system. It is wrong; it is not Godly like these statements above allude to. Thou shall not kill is still one of the Commandments, I believe, and since when do we Christians not believe in redemption? Since when are we looking for justice in any shape or form, regardless of how it looks? We no longer care if blame is placed where blame belongs, we only care for "justice" to be played out in the form of "well, somebody has to pay for this crime, it might as well be this guy." Killing Troy Davis will not bring the deceased back. Killing Troy Davis will not bring you closure. Killing Troy Davis will only inflict more pain onto an already broken world that allows human beings to lawfully kill other human beings. God bless America, but bless us to forgive, to look through pain and to love...to love more deeply than the wounds inflicted onto us.

***Today, I have an open-ended gratitude...I will be grateful when the death penalty is no longer a part of our reality in the U.S.

To learn more about Troy Davis, go to www.justicefortroy.org

The 6th Love Language

So I am a big fan of the Love Languages (there are 5, by the way) and I am constantly thinking about them in my different interactions with other people. If you don't know what the Love Languages are, here's a link that explains them:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

But anywho, this brings me to a letter I got from my priest friend from back in Bellingham. He wrote me in response to a letter I had written him and he talked about the love languages and how my devotion to letter writing could easily become the 6th Love Language. It made me think about the craft of writing. Clearly, I am committed to writing my blog and to writing letters to others; and that is a way I show my love for others so my gratitude for Tuesday, Sept. 13th, 2011 is the gift God has given me in writing.

Tuesday, Sept. 13th, 2011: I am grateful for the gift of writing and the way it can convey emotions that may be difficult to convey otherwise. I am grateful for the reciprocated motion of responding to letters. Getting a letter in the real snail mail helps to fill my day with joy and excitement because someone thought of me long enough to write me a letter and that's a good feeling. I like to spread that kinda feeling so today I am grateful for the gift God has given me and others in being devoted to letter writing.

Wednesday, Sept. 14th, 2011: I never thought I would say this and I'm shocked it's coming so soon in the year but I am grateful for being in DC. As much as I miss Bridgeport, I am grateful for DC today. I gave a presentation at St. Mary's Court today and heard some disappointing stories from some seniors about the lack of transportation for seniors in DC. Today was the first day I actually felt motivated and passionate for the elderly as a social justice issue. Today, I got angry and wanted to change the system in place. Today, I am grateful to DC for making me see something I was trying so badly to force myself to see...the need for me in this city.

Thursday, Sept. 15th, 2011: Today I am grateful for opportunities. I went over my schedule with my new supervisor and she has me booked up with meetings and events. I am grateful for the many, many, many opportunities being a JV in DC is pointing me toward. As a community, we have so many things going on in the next month that I am grateful for the opportunities to experience all of this "stuff" and be an active member in our greater DC community. It's an awesome feeling to be booked up for events that carry so much weight and have such important content.

That's it for today...I hope all is well where ya'll are! Loves!

Gratitude in the Tall and the Small

Saturday, Sept. 10th, 2011: Well, it just hit me today that my roommate is gone. The room we shared is very vacant and the walls are bare. It was a little alarming (and quiet) at first but trying to make the best of it, I redecorated. It's still primarily a guest room, but it's cozier now; which has made my room less cluttered and cleaner. On Saturday, I also visited the Air and Space Museum Smithsonian exhibit with my roommate, Colleen. We saw lots of amazing spacey things but the thing I liked the most was walking to the Smithsonian from my house. During my 3 mile walk, I got to see so much of the city and the people of DC. Someone even asked me for directions...I am grateful for this feeling I have right now: this feeling of belonging and excitement to live in DC. I love living here and I love this city.

Sunday, Sept. 11th, 2011: Some may find it hard to find something to be grateful for on such a monumentous day in our U.S. history. Ten years ago, four planes set out to do harm and hate propelled the events of that day. I was reading my roommate's blog and she entitled it "when love finally wins" and it was all about how hate has won in so many ways in the past ten years but how she finds love winning the small battles at her work. It was beautifully written (way to be, Britt) and carried a beautiful point with it: love trumping hate. Today, I went to St. Augustine's Catholic Mass (an entirely black congregation) and fell in love. I found my church. I could feel the love radiating from each parishioner and I felt the love the rest of the day. Today, of all days, I am grateful for love beating hate...both in the tall and the small battles.

Monday, Sept. 12th, 2011: Today I am grateful for my staff. We had a three hour long staff meeting where we laughed 3/4 of the time. Although we are going to be switching lead agencies on Oct. 1st and I will be losing most of those staff people, I am grateful for the time I have with them right now, in this moment. At one point, my supervisor (who is leaving Oct. 1st) said, "man, I'm going to miss this." and we all got a little quiet. I think recognizing how great the people you have around you is something we simply don't do enough of and today, I am grateful for them.

And also I am grateful for the staff I had last year...one of the people I worked with last year (a 65-year-old, stingy, grumpy man, who hated children) gave me a hug (which NEVER happens) on my last day and looked at me with a tear in his eye (also, NEVER happens) and said, "Katie, you have the gift of getting along with anyone. If someone doesn't like you, it's on account of them...definitely not you. Don't ever forget that." His words and his profound honesty and love have resonated and carried with me...I continue to think of those words because it makes me want to live up to them...he set the standard for me to live up to and I am eternally grateful for that.

Here's to the Freakin' Weekend!

Here we go...more gratitude! If you're getting sick of it, just let me know...and I'll try to add some spice to my posts...hahaha...

Thursday, September 8th, 2011: I am grateful for time spent in reflection. A new element to being an additional year in JVC in DC is meeting with a Spiritual guru, Bill. He isn't our spiritual director (but can be, if we want) but instead he is in charge of challenging us to dive deeper into our spirituality. Bill came over last night for the first time and brought pizza and some reflective prompts for us to go through. During the reflection, we each got to say when we've felt God in our lives, we read the bible passage John 1: 35-41 (placed ourselves in the story), reflected on the bible passage and then closed with Psalm 139, which I think is noteworthy to post on my blog:

"I
LORD, you have probed me, you know me: you know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar. You sift through my travels and my rest; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, LORD, you know it all. Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, far too lofty for me to reach. Where can I go from your spirit? From your presence, where can I flee? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I lie down in Sheol, there you are. If I take the wings of dawn and dwell beyond the sea, Even there your hand guides me, your right hand holds me fast. If I say, “Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light” - Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.

II
You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works! My very self you know. My bones are not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me unformed; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be.

III
How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sands; when I complete them, still you are with me. When you would destroy the wicked, O God, the bloodthirsty depart from me! Your foes who conspire a plot against you are exalted in vain.

IV
Do I not hate, LORD, those who hate you? Those who rise against you, do I not loathe? With fierce hatred I hate them, enemies I count as my own. Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my thoughts. See if there is a wicked path in me; lead me along an ancient path."


Friday, September 9th, 2011: Today I am thankful for humility and patience. In DC, today is National Day of Service Day and "DC Cares" is out helping the community in different ways in remembrance of the attacks on 9/11/2001. When I got to work this morning, some volunteers (ranging from ages 35-55) came to our center to help the seniors for the day. When they were told what their tasks were going to be: delivering groceries to seniors, cleaning up and tidying the houses of seniors and generally just filling in where we need them; they were pretty unresponsive to my supervisor. Once my supervisor left the room, I overheard them complaining about having to clean and do manual labor of delivering groceries. They said things like, "I'd like to see them try and make me wash down a wall." I was more than disappointed to hear them say these things. But to try and spin it into something positive, I am grateful to have people around me who remind me of why I am here; of why I am volunteering and of why my efforts are in such need. Today, I am thankful for the humility to truly be at the service of others and the patience to deal with those who lack that humility.

When I was in NYC, we went to Ground Zero and took some pictures of the steel beams they found in the shape of a cross...to tie both of my gratitude posts from Sept. 8th and today, I think these pictures do it justice.

Seven Days Behind

Alright, so I've been busy with weddings and babies and flying from coast to coast that I didn't get to do any blogging or appreciation journaling! So now it's time to play catch up!

Thursday, September 1st, 2011: I am grateful for kick booty public transportation. I began my wild and crazy adventure bound for the PNW at 8am. I had to take DC public transit to the Reagan National Airport and I couldn't have found an easier, less costly way of getting there than by public transit if I tried. Maybe it's my Bridgeport background that has hindered my opinion of public transit but DC public transit is amazing and such a blessing.

Friday, September 2nd, 2011: I am grateful for good friends and time spent with them. I am so thankful for the hours I got to spend with Caitlin, Sarah and Emily before Emily's big day on Saturday and even more so, I'm grateful for odd and slightly inappropriate traditions like getting Big Mamas (fish bowl Margaritas) whenever I am in town. It was like old times, sitting at Jalapenos restaurant, sipping on our Big Mamas, laughing and scarfing down nachos.

Saturday, September 3rd, 2011: I am grateful for love and not just the generic kind of love that Hallmark makes sappy movies about but more specifically, the kind of love that a father and daughter have for one another. Today was Emily and Austen's big day and it was amazing to be a part of it. But my favorite part and the part I love most about weddings was all the interactions the father of the bride has with his daughter; from walking her down the aisle, to their dance together at the reception, to his toast, all of these things are what makes a perfect love. Seeing Emily and her dad made me miss my dad so much and appreciate the relationship I have with him so much. It's an indescribable feeling to know that you're Daddy's little girl and nothing can ever break that bond.

Sunday, September 4th, 2011: I am grateful for a child-like heart and silly mentality and friends who entertain both. We spent a better part of three hours making Emily and Austen a music video for their wedding present and it was so much fun! Grace, Kelsey, Alex, Caitlin and I all acted like a bunch of silly idiots as Grace changed the words to "Marry You" by Bruno Mars to fit Emily and Austen more appropriately. It was an explosion of laughter and random props.

Monday, September 5th, 2011: I am grateful for new life. I had the opportunity to visit with Ed and Corina's baby, Maximilian Kolbe DeBroeck, on Monday. He was born only five days prior...so tiny, so adorable, so loving. It was amazing to hold him and love up on him. I was reminded of how incredible life is and how amazing human beings are to create it.



Tuesday, September 6th, 2011: I am grateful for "see ya laters". I have noticed that in the past month I have had to do a lot of them. It's funny because I HATE goodbyes so it's funny to me that I've been having to so them a lot lately. My friend, Kelsey said it best, "your visits are good because they help to remind you that your friends are here, they aren't going anywhere and they love you." I hadn't seen a lot of my Bellingham friends in seven months and the past five days were such a breath of fresh air. The "see ya laters" are still difficult but knowing that the distance isn't in direct correlation with our friendship(s) is a beautiful lesson I am learning.

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011: I am grateful for inner peace and taking the time to really calm my mind, soul and body over the weekend. I have (for the first time this new JV year) actually enjoyed my work day today. It wasn't boring or irritating or worthless...I actually did an intake, put together my advocacy presentation, interacted with some seniors, helped in the Feast for All Market downstairs and actually enjoyed my day today (even though it's pouring outside).