Honky Tonk and Vocations

Well, after much breathless anticipation, here is the post about Nashville!!!

After making my way to the west coast, I traveled back to JFK airport. When my plane landed I was excited to act like a big girl and find my hotel shuttle, hotel and dinner for the night all by myself. I found my shuttle pretty well, made my way to my sketchy, sketchy hotel and checked in...I opened the door to my room and was pleasantly surprised: I had to text my mom with the exciting news of how gigantic my bed was! I felt like I could fit five of my closest friends in that bed! Anywho, after settling in a little, I set out for dinner. I walked to the Burger King just down the street and was looked over multiple times by the multi-cultural guests eating at said Burger King...they must've been wondering which rabbit hole I crawled out of...after walking back to my room and settling in, I stayed up flipping through channels because I hadn't had a leisure TV experience in seven months! It was funny...I stayed up until 1am just watching commercials and flipping through channels / watching "Interview with Vampire"!

My flight took off in the mid-morning and I landed in Atlanta, which now I understand where they get the name "Hotlanta" from...it was so humid! Then I flew to Nashville...the Delta flight had a small TV for me to watch on the back of the seat in front of me...it was like a personal size TV just for me...to which I played trivia on it! hahaha...when I landed in Nashville, the first thing I was greeted with was music...everywhere, MUSIC. It was fantastic. I saw music notes and guitars on the walls and country music blaring out of every speaker...simply put, close to heaven.

The conference was held at this really pretty set of buildings on Vanderbilt's campus. I guess it used to be a seminary of some sort but later became a retreat center...I had my own room and shared a bathroom with one other lady. It was cool. There were about 45 of us from all over the U.S. volunteering with different denominational volunteer organizations. I spotted the two other JVs from the east and we basically stuck together the entire weekend. I met lots of really nice people though. I got to talk with some people who were JVs from California, Alaska, South Dakota, Oregon and Washington; which was neat comparing notes.

The actual conference was interesting because it was geared mostly toward Protestants. Some of the subject matter was about going to seminary and it made us Catholics giggle a little because seminary is something very, very different for us...hahaha. BUT we got to spend an entire day looking at different non-profits in Nashville like this place called Thistle Farms. The agency takes women who are prostituting and addicted to drugs off the streets and places them in a home that is self-running. There's no den mother or boss telling them how to run the home and Thistle Farms gives them a job because many of these women have records so they can't find employment. I was blown away by the incredible sense of compassion and pride they took in their agency...I really wanted to work there and it was difficult to leave them!

On Friday night we got to Honky Tonk...which I highly encourage anyone to participate in. It was so fun! We walked down the main drag of Nashville and music was everywhere...literally, everywhere. I was smiling from ear to ear because it was so fun! Live music filled the streets and people were dancing in every bar. We went to three different places...one didn't have live music but was like the anti-honky tonk bar, one was dripping in honky tonk-ness and was called the Whiskey Bent Saloon! Then, we went to Wanna B's Karaoke Bar. All were so much fun! I don't like country music but I had a great time!!!

I was sad to leave Nashville but I felt like the time I had there was great to meet other people who's faith is deeply ingrained in them. It was cool to see how their faith was directing their vocations, their dreams, goals, hopes and wishes. I came away feeling prepared to take on anther year of JVC by the reigns and ready to Honky Tonk my way through any bumps in the road along the way! :)

Where to Begin?

Since Feb. 23rd, I have been a busy bee flying and traveling from coast to coast and visiting numerous wonderful individuals.

I made my way to the west coast on Feb. 24th for a little surprise my friend Kelsey and I had in store for all our Newman friends back in Bellingham, WA. The trip begin on such a positive note, I shared my plane ride with about ten Marines and had the pleasure of sitting next to one on my flight. He had never been to the Pacific Northwest before so I chatted his ear off about what to expect and how amazing the PNW is. When I got off the plane at 10pm in Seattle, waiting for me at the security checkpoint was Kelsey, with a huge smile, bouncing up and down and holding a sign that read, "Welcome Home, Katie Bug. Ah! Love you!" It set the tone for the extended weekend.

It was a weekend of love. We talked well into the night and in the morning met up with friends at a breakfast place in Seattle. It was such refreshing to see Luke Krum Krum and Lucas again. Lucas and I picked up on our biting verbal lashings as if no time had passed and it was so comforting to have that banter in my life once again. From there, we went to the Woodland Park Zoo (silly to go to the zoo at the end of Feb.) and named multiple animals and laughed together. It was freezing but so much fun.

From there I went to see my brother at Seattle University. It was really great to see him and talk with him. I am constantly amazed at how much he continues to grow in his self-awareness every time I see him. I guess I still think I'm going to see my kid brother, the same one who played Kinex and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles every day, but alas, he is not that boy anymore.

On Saturday morning Kelsey, Luke and I headed up to Anacortes to surprise everyone at the Search Retreat. We putzed around Anacortes and then around 8pm made our big reveal at the retreat. It all seems like a fast-paced blur now, but from what my mind can piece together, I had butterflies in my stomach, big, man-eating butterflies swarming around my tummy. Kelsey went first, followed by Luke and Frank and then I was the caboose. I set my bag down and prepared myself for the lovin' of a lifetime. Kelsey walked through the kitchen and led the path to the gym. When I walked through the gym doors the first thing I heard/saw was Caitlin's voice saying, "no way, no way, no way. You didn't. No way!" It was as if everyone else in the room blurred because I immediately went to her. While she cupped her face and cried her face off, I held her and quietly whispered, "surprise." We both cried and hugged for what seemed like forever. I turned around to see Heidi crying, people turning around and screaming, "wait, what? What are you doing here?" It was beautiful. I wanted to give them a gift and in the end, they gave me a gift...funny how that works.

On Sunday I got to catch up with old high school friends who were in Bellingham and that was great to see them and hear what they were up to. Sunday night, I went to the Newman Center Mass and surprised Fr. Qui-Thac. I had forgotten how at peace that Mass makes me. I forgot how fulfilling that Mass made me feel; ready to take on the week ahead of me. It was beautiful to see everyone and spend the moments I had with them. Monday was spent hanging out with everyone at the Newman Center and saying goodbye to people many times over because our departure time kept changing. Through the will of God, Kelsey didn't have to work at 4pm anymore so we could stay in Bellingham until later (turned out to be 9pm before we left).

God definitely gifted me with amazing friends; truly amazing people that inspire and enrich my life. I had let that gift slip away from my reality while in Bridgeport and this trip helped remind me of that gift. Kelsey spent most of Monday driving someone an hour south of Bellingham and back, just so we could hang out with everyone in Bellingham for a longer period of time. People skipped class to spend time with me and sacrificed studying, hours of sleep and doing homework just to spend time with me. It reminded me of the gift I have been given in each one of their souls...God is good...too good to me.

This post has gotten to be very, very long so I will write another post tomorrow about Nashville and the conference I attended. Thanks to everyone who helped make this visit to Bellingham/Seattle a memorable one that exceeded all my expectations. I love you.

Waiting for My "Superman"

Last night, my roommates and I invited our support people over to make pizza and watch the documentary, "Waiting for Superman". If you haven't seen it, you should because I am an educator, I know what's up and I was still shocked by a lot of the education policies and activities going on in our country. The documentary begins with a kind of explanation of the title: a man, Geoffrey Canada, explains that when he was little, living in a very rough part of New York, he would watch Superman and anticipate his arrival...Canada would wait for Superman to come and save him from the horrible situations he was in. One day, his mother told him that Superman wasn't real and he was never going to come. Canada was devastated, as he said, because "all hope of getting out was gone". In some ways, I feel like we are all waiting for our Superman to come and "save us".

We are all waiting for the day when someone or something will rejuvenate and revitalize our hope, passion and love for whatever gray area we have in our lives. I know that I'm waiting for my metaphorical "Superman" to come and inspire my spiritual life. I'm waiting for "Superman" to assist in my prayer life, my personal life and my spiritual growth. I'm waiting for a breath of fresh air to come and pump new life into my spirituality. I'm waiting for something to take over and push me.

In the documentary, Canada points out that the only way he got beyond the "Waiting for Superman" mentality was by pulling himself out of the muck all by himself. He climbed out of and motivated himself to become a successful educator. In this way, he stopped waiting and started doing.

In this day and age, it is so easy to just sit back and wait...wait for life to come to you (which it never will), wait for people to find you (which might happen) and wait for our "Supermen". The thing that I feel has plagued our country is not just laziness but a lack of motivation; a lack of self-reliance. We are all waiting for our "Supermen" to come and fix things, make things easier, and breathe fresh life into our gray areas. It's most likely not going to happen. The only way we can actually find fulfillment or use our gifts to the fullest is by becoming our own, personal Supermen. It's not going to happen over night and it, of course, is not going to be easy; but playing the waiting game just doesn't seem like the plan God had for us when He made everything...it doesn't seem logical and it certainly isn't effective.

Lent starts in two weeks, I am going to strive to be a Superman...a person who is self-motivated, self-reliant and self-driven. I am going to improve my spiritual life and if I feel it's going well, I'm going to try and be a Superman for my kids...sometimes one just gets sick of waiting for her Superman to come; I guess that's when the true self-growth and transformation to adulthood begins.

These Times, They are a Changin'

Whelp, the results are in...drum roll please...ba-rum-rum-rum-rum (that's the closest to a drum roll I could get). I was accepted into the additional year program with JVC. This means I will be serving for another year, alongside the marginalized and forgotten in our society...I am so excited!!! I originally applied because I wanted to continue working with those who needed love the most and I really wanted to experience another population and city other than Bridgeport and the west coast. When I sent in my application, I figured it was in God's hands and if He wanted me to continue doing His work out on the east coast, than I would...after my interview, I figured the cards would fall as they may and nothing was in my control.

Well, I found out yesterday that I was accepted to do another year of JVC. I put in my placement choices and preferences and am waiting to hear from the different agencies for interviews. I've decided to focus on D.C. and doing advocacy work in our nation's capital. JVC is trying to get a house of only additional year volunteers together to live in D.C. and I am highly interested in doing that as well. I've applied for jobs working with the homeless, elderly and refugees. We shall see which group God wants me to work with!

I am so excited to continue pushing myself in social justice and community living. I'm excited to see what D.C. has in store for me and I'm excited to work with a completely different population than I'm used to. Don't worry, my west coast friends, I will certainly be returning to you eventually, I love the rain too much not to go back to my roots...so don't fret...it's exciting to know I have a plan until August 2012 and it's even more exciting to know that I'm going to get to meet a whole new batch of people next year! Thanks for all your support and love and prayers, I felt them and needed them...loves.

All You Need is Love

Happy post-Valentine's Day everyone! We've reached the half-way point in my JVC year...and what could possibly be a better theme for a post than LOVE???

During the past six months, I have felt challenged in many, many ways. I have felt challenged in my spirituality, my values and in my optimism. I have seen kids' pain and at times I have felt helpless in aiding my kids. The one constant, through everything, has been love. I talked a little bit about it in a speech I gave at Re-Orientation last month so I might be wearing out the topic, but it's Valentine's Day so it seems appropriate.

I was asked the question last night: "How do you remain hopeful in hopeless situations?" This is a tough, tough question to answer and I feel like it is the underlying theme of the entire six months I've spent with JVC this year. Part of my answer would have to rely on faith. I have a strong faith that God has put me here, in Bridgeport, for a specific purpose. If that purpose in my full year of service is to spend just one day making someone feel better than the rest of the 364 days are well worth that one day. My faith in God and His time and His plan helps me to see past the pain, the sadness, the loneliness and look to something bigger. Secondly, I believe in love. I believe that if I love a person long and hard enough than it will somehow, some way, help in whatever way. I know when I feel the most down, the most helpless and the most lonely, the love my kids give me, gives me hope.

On Valentine's Day, before 2:30pm, I had a pretty average day. Then, at 3pm, my kids came busting through our front doors, hopped up on sugar, and many of them asked if I'd be their Valentine. They fought each other to be my Valentine and shoved hand made cards and notes into my hands. They made me feel so loved...that feeling has carried me through the week. Their love has carried me through to today (and hopefully tomorrow too). It's faith and love that give me hope in hopeless situations; it's the faith and love my kids have for me that give me hope. As my friend said in his speech at Re-O last month, "love has ruined us for life" and I can't help but agree with him. Happy Love Day everyone!

Dock Your Worry Boat

Lately I've been really stressed out about applications and interviews for a second year with JVC, working at the Shehan Center, homesickness, my sister's wedding, traveling to Nashville in two weeks, trying to stay in contact with everyone back home and life in general.

This week has been especially stressful and I have not exactly handled the stress with the most grace and confidence as I usually do. I have taken the route of bottling up my nerves/anticipation/worries and cooping myself up in my room for hours on end. I haven't been as present in my community and haven't interacted as much with my kids as I should be.

With that said, I talked to my mother last night and she heard me carry on and on about my stresses and she said, without any hesitation, "oh my dear, Katie, dock your worry boat. What will be will be." In the immortal ways only a mother could truly understand, she hit the nail on the head. This week has proven to challenge my faith and trust in God. I must dock my worry boat and let God take over. All the effort and work I've done is basically done and the rest will play out as God wants it to. If I get into the additional year program, if I get the bridesmaids dress of my dreams, if my kids grow and learn from me is all in God's hands and I need to trust that His hands will take care of me.

This weekend is the Camden Valentine's Day party and it'll be nice to relax, unwind and see everyone that I haven't seen in about a month. It'll be nice to get out of Bridgeport for a little bit and to see Philly again. I think I need to concentrate less on the worrying and more on the moments; more on the intentional time I spend with my housemates and friends in Bridgeport and more on my faith in God. It's time to dock my worry boat, and trust that if God wants it to sail, it'll go in the direction He chooses. Life is too short to be worrying all the time.

Surviving the Blizzard(s)

It's February so I thought we were semi in the clear when it comes to bad snowy weather but alas, this is not the case. From Christmas until now, we have had around 3 feet of snow and about 4 inches of freezing rain/ice on top of the 3 feet of snow. I have yet to work a full week at the center because of the weather...so I've had some down time at home which consists of cleaning, shoveling a little, reading, watching "Friends" and painting our mural we started in our basement. It's funny because I was asking for snow...well, now I got it! I got what I asked for...last time I'll make that mistake.

Moving on, we have reached the half-way point in JVC...it's gone by kinda quickly, but I feel like since the snow hit, it's been passing VERY slowly. After six months in JVC, I've learned a lot about inner city living, cooperation, patience (still working on this one), non-profits, homesickness and, of course, myself. JVC is funny because you anticipate some things like issues with roommates or tough situations at your placement or being financially strapped, but you don't really anticipate the direction your personal growth will take...there's no way to anticipate that...it's impossible. The major "blizzards" of these past six months have helped shape me in terms of my personal strength...unfortunately, I am afraid that the trade off has been that I'm not as "sweet and easy going" as I used to be. The harshness of who I work with and their home lives, combined with community life and being so far away from family and friends has hardened me a little. My biggest fear is not that I won't be affective here or that I won't learn, but I will lose a piece of myself in the process...I will lose the "bubbly and silly" person that God created me to be.

Maybe I'm being a bit over-dramatic but I do feel myself hardened, tougher and a little rougher than I was before...which may not be a bad thing, I just feel myself fighting for the old qualities I love about myself as a trade off...I'm not sure how to combat that, but I'm at least aware of it.

JVC has a catch phrase, and if you've done anything with JVC than you know it, it's "JVC ruins you for life." I always thought that was in terms of being a witness to poverty and never being able to go back to being ignorant about injustices; but for me, it goes deeper too...I'm ruined for life because I am harsher and less naive than the person I was coming into JVC. I don't know about the next six months but I truly want to maintain the "old Katie" for as long as possible and not let homesickness or the stresses of community life bog me down. The world deserves the Katie from Washington, not the semi down trodden one from Bridgeport...

I just realized how negative this post is...so unfortunate...I want to end on a positive note: I love my kids...I love the center because it gives my kids a chance to be kids and not deal with adult problems...I love that God is using me as a vessel or tool to do His work. He has a plan and if that plan means I'm going to have to be down-trodden for a little bit until I see the light at the end of the tunnel, so be it...He can use me...He knows what I can do better than I do...I just need to have a little more faith in His plan. I am happy here, I love the work I do, rest assure that I am not miserable in the least bit! Loves!