This is what I wrote at 2:45am at our Silent Retreat on April 29th - May 2nd during the Peace Vigil.
"Lord, I look around the room and candles seem to be flickering on every shelf, nook and cranny. A candle is a living metaphor. Tonight I look at these candles, which enable me to read and ignite an environment of serenity, and I see a child for each one – delicate, wavering, small, quiet, in need or simple things and, sadly, easily extinguished. Tonight, I look at these candles and see a sadness, a fear and I reflect on the reality that I cannot save every candle from going out.
In the Bible, it is written: Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name, welcomes me and anyone who welcomes me, welcomes not only me but the one who sent me” (Mk. 9:37).
I have many things to pray for and many things to be grateful for but tonight, in this hour, I am praying for children, for my children.
JVC and my past life experiences never could have prepared me for the realities I’ve seen over the past eight months. I knew I’d be uncomfortable and at times broken, but my kids have given me so much discomfort in opening their lives and their Truth to me.
I see starving six-year-olds; 2nd graders who read at a painfully slow, almost kindergarten level, rate; I see mouthy boys; girls looking for attention in the wrongest of ways; children throwing punches; not knowing the concept of sharing or caring; I see teachers who just want to be rid of this or that class; I see principals turn their heads and unintentionally ignore the failings of their schools; I see children desperately looking to be loved and I see their candles dwindling.
My roommate always says that it’s easy for people to rally behind children, to see the injustices in the faces of the little ones who are hurting. My question is then, is it more of an injustice if we all can feel the pain and oppression and do nothing about it? Is it more of an injustice if supporting it and seeing its validity is “easy” and we chose to stand aside and be indifferent?
I pray tonight for not only my kids at the Cardinal Shehan Center, but for all, all those near and far, who have no one to help nurture and cultivate their flames. Without investing in our tiniest of candles, our futures become darker and darker.
I pray for educators, administrators, law makers and parents, that they recognize that every child is a gift and every candle needs nourishment.
I pray for all JVs, but more specifically, those working with youth. Since it’s so “easy” to support causes relating to children, it is also very easy to feel disappointed, angry, helpless and discouraged by the oppressive systems in place. I ask for grace and faith for each JV and future JV to not give up and to continue to invest in the future light of our world. I’ve been struggling with the inevitability that come August, I will be gone; I will be leaving these beautiful children. These kids are lacking structure, people who are a constant support and people who believe in them and come August, I will leave; just like every other adult role model they’ve had. I pray for Anne – the JV who will be taking over for me – I pray for my staff and for my kids. I hope that they have, in some small way, felt touched and have felt God’s love through me. I hope they continue to feel it even after I’m gone and that Anne is so awesome that these kids won’t even remember who I am!
I pray for a greater devotion to love – in all forms – and compassion. I pray for educations reform, children and a greater societal value on each candle, the big and the small, the brightest and the dullest, the prettiest and the ugliest, the strongest and the weakest. I pray that no more candles extinguish and that no more candles get pushed aside. I pray that the Lord will only help them burn brighter and stronger every day and that more people become devoted to the “easy” cause of aiding in a radiant future.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us.
Mary, our Virgin Mother, pray for us.
All the saints and holy men and women, pray for us.
Amen.
Katie Conway
Bridgeport JVC ’10-‘11"
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