Eros: I Will Give Myself to You

Brittney visited today. I hadn't realized how much I missed her and her supportive spirit. It brought back such wonderful memories and feelings. Colleen, Britt and I went to breakfast together and then Mass; it was kind of a JVC 2011-2012 reunion for us. I haven't been to Mass since August 5th, which was the last time Britt was in DC, so entering those giant wooden church doors with her by my side was even more meaningful.

When Britt, Colleen and I selected our pew and finished our prayers, we looked up to see the one and only, Fr. Paul Dressler (a Franciscan Friar). He began his "term" with St. Augustine's the same time we moved to DC and we bonded with him because of his warmth, authenticity and amazing homilies. During our JV year in DC, we invited him over to our place and got to know him fairly well.

It seemed as though the planets aligned to have us all there, under God's roof, to celebrate kinship, family and love.

As Fr. Paul read the Gospel and we all sat down to hear his words of wisdom in the homily, he quoted the opening line to the movie, "Mystic River":

“Brendan Harris loved Katie Marcus like crazy, loved her like movie love, with an orchestra booming through his blood and flooding his ears.  He loved her waking up, going to bed, loved her all day and every second in between.  Brendan Harris would love Katie Marcus fat and ugly.  He’d love her with bad skin and thick fuzz on her upper lip.  He’d love her toothless.  He’d love her bald.

Katie.  The trill of her name sliding through his brain was enough to make Brendan feel like he could walk on water and bench-press an eighteen-wheeler, toss it across the street when he was finished with it.

Brendan Harris loved everyone now because he loved Katie and Katie loved him.  Brendan loved traffic and smog and the sound of jackhammers. He loved Monday mornings and standing in line at the DMV.  Everything was sweeter because he loved Katie and Katie loved him."

Fr. Paul later related Brendan's love, his crazy movie love, a desirable love; Eros (as the Greek call it). A love that we all thirst for, a love that makes life sweeter and the DMV less painful. Fr. Paul explained that God's love for us is in fact Eros, it is movie love...his love is crazy, mad, stupid love because he loves us even when we are toothless, fat and ugly and even on Mondays. God has a thirst, a burning desire to love us and that is Eros. 

As the choir began to softly transition the church into preparing for communion; they sang, "I Will Give Myself to You." As I sat between two women who saw me change and grow during my second JV year and presently, keep my heart in check, I realized that as long as God keeps sending me beautiful people like them to help live out His Eros love for me, the task of "giving myself to Him" becomes a little less scary and less challenging.