What I have Learned About Myself:
APPAREL: Ladies, when going on a first date, things to consider: your
outfit; does it represent me well? Wearing a tube top and go go boots
would turn heads, but not represent my personality very well...I'm
afraid it might set my date up for false expectations for the future so
what I do is: wear my best "butt jeans" (you know what these are), my
Toms (because they say, hey look, I'm fun and I like to give back), a
nicer/fancier tank top (this, I usually borrow from my roommate and it
doesn't show too much skin, but makes me look like I wasn't trying too
hard) and a cardigan (usually my blue one to bring out my eyes). Now,
choosing hair up, hair down, what have you; I usually go with hair
down...men like it when your hair is down...I think it goes back to
primal stuff.Go easy on the make-up...you don't want to look like Bo-Zo
the clown and if you're like me, pack your deodorant in your
purse...because you're going to sweat...a lot.
DATE CHOICE: Alright, so I HATE dinner dates. I think they are a waste
of time and money. I'd much rather go do something that shows off one of
our personalities...like cooking together or visiting a bar or seeing a
museum...then you don't have a set in stone time frame (if the date is
going poorly) and you don't have to stare at each other eating for an
hour. I like to be creative with dates...I like to be in a neutral zone,
location wise, that way you both are out of your comfort zone. AND
please, make sure you meet there...do NOT have him pick you up if you've
never met him before; you start to head into the creepy zone if you do
that...be safe, ladies.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: Now, the big no-nos are always: politics,
ex-boyfriends and your "intimate" details. BUT I want to add to the
list: how much money you make (no one is impressed, so stop bragging),
how many people you've killed or want to kill, how many hours of video
games you played today, telling your date you love them, what your
wedding dress is going to look like and lastly, how many dates you
turned down to be on this one.All of these topics have been brought up
in various ways throughout my six month voyage and I'm still single so
clearly these topics should be avoided.
WHAT TO SAY: It's important to say, I always give my date a hug when I
see him...I think it says, "hey, I'm
friendly and welcoming without even knowing you." But do whatever you
feel comfortable with. Then, we go on with
the date. DO talk about your work in brief detail. DO share where you
dreams and goals lie. DO talk about where you're from and your family.
DO share stories...people remember stories better than they do facts...I
could care less what your favorite color is on our first date. DO talk
about your likes and dislikes...TV shows, movies, places you've visited
(without boasting), activities, book, etc. DO make sure you ask follow
up questions to your date...don't let the conversation flop around like a
fish out of water, you're in control, you're 25 and talk to people
every day...this dude is no different. DO be honest...if you don't like
scary movies, say so; if you hate spicy food, say so...just because he
likes it doesn't mean you have to. In addition to honesty, after you
part ways, be honest with yourself about whether you want to see him
again...I usually always give guys a second date because I understand
nerves get the best of people on the first date BUT if you KNOW you're
not feeling it because he says somethings like, "I keep all my dead pets
in a mason jar" then respectfully tell him no thanks and move on.
Finally, my dad gave me the best advice: Stop looking for a boyfriend or
a husband. Find a friend...look for a friend because aren't you
interested in being with your best friend forever?
Peace and Good Luck!
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