To Love Another Person is to See the Face of God

Like a typical "Conway", I am finding it a challenge to funnel my thoughts into one, cohesive post. It's been a month of absolute joy (the holiday season usually brings this gift to people) and now I find myself in a "joy" induced hang over.

Getting older means growing more comfortable with yourself and to me, it means helping others grow into themselves as well. No one ever told me that growing older would mean: bills, money worries, homesickness, choices made independently, apartment searches, loss, helplessness, loneliness and cooking for myself every night (OK, that last one isn't so bad).

So now, after being with my parents and loved ones for two weeks, I am thrown back into the "real world" of growing older.

What I'm finding is that my specific type of growing older is a little more difficult because I feel like I'm doing it on my own. Being so far away from everyone I love so deeply is now taking its toll on my "getting older" because that initial excitement about independence and that rush of adrenaline that kept me chugging along is now replaced with a deep desire to be close to the people I love. I guess one could say the honeymoon period is over.

Despite my desire to move back to the West coast, I have committed myself to my school until June 2014. So my "getting older" reality is that I just need to tough it out for 17 months more. Instead of wallowing in my choice to live in DC, I am trying to push myself to see God in it.

My New Years resolution (I never make these), is to try to see the face of God more. I really want to push myself to see where God is working in my life; why He has prompted me to stay in DC when I could've left in August and how His face is helping me to assist others in "growing older" as well.

Some brainstorming ideas thus far:
1) Go to Church more regularly - I find that when I have God as part of my routine, growing older isn't so hard to manage.
2) HAND write to the people I love and tell them I love them - actually being a friend instead of thinking about myself will help me pour my love onto others more instead of searching for it within myself.
3) Pray more - this should be a no brainer, but if I pray more, maybe God will be more constant in my thoughts!

And that's about as far as I got...any other ideas would be appreciated.

I recently saw Les Miserables with my parents. As strange as it sounds, it made me cry for the usual reasons but it also hit me deeper than that because it made me reflect on my faith and my relationship with God. Jean Valjean is no saint but instead of wallowing in his self-pity or "growing older", he chooses to see the face of God in those around him. The final line in the movie is: "To love another person is to see the face of God." So, my goal for myself is to not only love myself more, to help me grow more comfortable with myself, but also to love others more. I want to see the face of God...I need to see the face of God.

Peace and love to you. Be on the look out, I may be writing you soon.