Five Month Mark

Social Justice: I feel I have gained so much from my placement that it almost doesn’t seem fair to say that I am “helping” the center I work at.

In Bridgeport, poverty is in the center of a circle of wealth and anyone from Bridgeport is well aware of that fact. Surrounding cities like Fairfield, Trumbull and Orange are all very wealthy and Bridgeport’s income simply pales in comparison. The “urban youth” I work with are the result of years of surrounding cities, and government, turning their heads to the inner city problems Bridgeport has. My kids come into the center hungry because their parents can’t afford to make lunch for them, my kids come in with torn or dirty clothes and more importantly, my kids come into the center with chips on their shoulders the size of Connecticut. I have gained an appreciation for my upbringing, my “privilege”, and I have gained a respect for these kids who are brought up in an environment that is lacking in so many ways.

The insight my agency has given me can be summed up in the pride I have in my kids. Through everything, they are still good, deep down they are still good and they want to prove society wrong. They want someone to believe in them and someone to pay attention to the good things they are doing, not just the negative. Although these kids can be frustrating and the staff can be difficult to work with at times, I have felt myself grow into a better-rounded and enlightened person. Through each frustration and each child that tries my patience, I have found even grater opportunities to be strong and love them anyway. My placement has made me the proud adoptive parent of 100 kids who look to me for love, for discipline and for respect. I try every day to give them those things because basic human dignity is all they ask for. My placement has exposed me to a population I wouldn’t have worked with otherwise, has given me the backbone to stand up for misunderstood kids and has opened my eyes to the importance of human dignity for all, not just the wealthy and not just adults.

At the five month mark, I ask myself 1) Where did the time go? and 2) What keeps me coming to work? I am motivated by the nay-sayers; the people who look the other way when we try to raise money for our kids or the politicians that choose to sweep Bridgeport under the rug because it's just easier to do that than address the issues head on. But mostly, I keep going because I have over 100 children now who look to me for love; they look to me to be their friend and the person who will listen to their very pointless stories or tattle-taling remarks. They look to me to be the person who's not afraid to be goofy and not afraid to be genuine with them. God continues to give me the strength I need to give my kids these things every day; I just pray that He gives the politicians and society in general the strength to advocate for my kids, because they need it and so do I.

You Take the Good with the Bad

Bad News: I've been sick since December 16th...the head cold that won't ever go away!

Good News: Christmas was as wonderful as it was going to be with wonderful extended family.

Bad News: Christmas made me miss my family even more. I missed the traditions we have and the food we make.

Good News: New Years is right around the corner and I'm going to Harlem, NY for it! Yeah, welcoming in 2011 the right way!

News in General: I miss my brother. It was plainly obvious on Christmas. I miss having my buddy who gets me and is silly and laughs at me being silly. I miss my sister, another fact that was obvious at Christmas. I miss having a big sister who acts as goofy as she did when she was six. I miss my parents...obviously because of Christmas. Mom called me like three times on Christmas and texted twice as many times. I think she missed me too...I take comfort in knowing that I am missed by people.

Yesterday was crazy. Alie and I barely beat the blizzard that hit the entire east coast. We shoveled for like two hours yesterday...there was a foot of snow or more. SO MUCH SNOW!!! AH! It's really cool though (no pun intended). Work was canceled yesterday because no one could get out of their house so it gave me a chance to work on my Snoopy puzzle!

Today was a productive day. I scheduled my dentist appointment. I filled out my loan deferment papers. I wrote all three essays I had to write for my re-application to JVC for next year. I mailed off the bills and a package for my fiance. I balanced our house finances and looked up train ticket schedules for Friday. SO MUCH GOT DONE!

Joe got me a whistle! So now I don't have to yell all the time! It's the little things that bring me joy anymore! hahaha...if JVC has taught me anything, that's it. Take joy in the small and simple things! Well, that's the good, the bad and the snowy!!! hahaha...loves!

But a Moment...

I only have but a moment to tell you what I think. It's Christmas in 3 days and I am overwhelmed with the love and appreciation I have for those around me. Lately, I've been feeling down about being away from my family at Christmas, but today, for the first time, I felt the real love between myself and a few of my co-workers and especially my kids.

We did secret Santa at work...a tradition that I'm not a huge fan of because it's so forced at times. But anyway, I wasn't nosey or prying and I didn't discover who had me until they gave me the gift today. It was so thoughtful, and sweet. Karitza had me. She said she thought of a ba-gillion things to get me but couldn't decide on just one so she got me a purple blanket, scrapbooking stuff and lotion...it's like she read my mind! hahaha...she was so thoughtful and then she also bought me lunch. But the material aspect of this story is not the main focus of my thoughts.

Karitza is always concerned about my personal welfare. She is so invested in my well-being and my life. She constantly invites me over to her house and constantly asks how I'm doing and at times, forces me to open up to her in a one-on-one clinical-type meeting...ha. She's truly invested in who I am and that genuine nature is priceless. I've been concentrating on what I'm missing out on that I haven't taken a moment to look at the people God has thrown in my life in Connecticut. Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope and pray that your Christmas is blessed and wonderful, no matter who you are spending it with or where you are spending it! God Bless!!!

P.S. I also got a Buzz Lightyear snuggie!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, Dennis!

The Spirit of Christmas

I work at a huge facility. I get my work out in by just walking around the entire building. We cover an entire city block and are three stories high. There is a lot of cleaning to be done once children bulldoze through the place. It's a handful just to clean up after all those kids and not a job I envy.

Robert. Robert is the man that has this job. Robert is around 55 years old, is usually seen with his skirt of trash bags around his waste, his trash can on wheels and his boom box blasting Christmas music.

Every day Robert greets me with a big smile and says, "good mornin', Katie! How ya doin'?" I can't help but smile when I am around Robert and I usually respond with, "I'm good, Robert, how are you?" He continues to smile, usually doesn't hear my question and says, "That's good, that's good."

Robert usually gets really nervous around me and fumbles with his trash bags or his keys. He even comments on his jittery-ness and says, "I'm sorry, can you back up, you make me nervous!" We laugh and he continues working. That's usually how it works with him...he keeps to himself and gets his work done. He is such a hard worker.

Today, he came into my office to take out my trash and said, "Merry Christmas, Katie. How ya doin'?" I stopped typing long enough to look at him, he was smiling that same contagious smile and I said, "Merry Christmas, Robert. I'm doing well. How are you?" He took my trash, fumbled with the trash bag and said, "Do you think I can get everyone in the Christmas spirit by Christmas?" I told him he could do anything and he laughed, replaced my trash bag and walked out of my office. As he was leaving he said, "Katie, I think that's you and I get along so well...we both carry the Christmas spirit."

After my last post, I must say, Robert turned my week around. Robert has very little to his name, is often overlooked by the kids and staff but continues the same cheery persona day in and day out. His simple smile and simple way of going about his work adds so much to my day. Just by asking me how I'm doing and honestly caring about my answer, Robert helps to remind me why I'm here. Tomorrow I'm going to beat him to the punch and say, "Good mornin' Robert, how ya doin'?" before he gets a chance to ask me...and I am going to sincerely listen to his answer, because that's the spirit of Christmas.

10 Days Until Christmas

Well, Christmas is in full swing here. Two nights ago, my roommates and I decided to have a bake off. I made brownie cupcakes with mint truffles on top, Melissa made a toffee chocolate cookie and Alie made Muddy Buddies. I have yet to try my creation, but the other two taste wonderful!!!

I'm listening to Christmas music non-stop; I've decided the song that I like the most this year is James Taylor's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". A few others were competing for the top place, but alas, Jimmy won. Also, I woke up this morning to a white painted backyard and rooftop. It snowed during the night!

All this leads up to a crushing and kind of sad point: I feel like as hard as I am trying to force myself into the Christmas spirit, I can't help but feel a little down-trodden. Although I will be with my Grandmother for the holiday, I will be missing out on the Christmas that I've partaken in for the past 22 years with my parents, brother and sister. I will miss the funny traditions and food we have together and I will miss the comfortability of being around people that know me really, really well.

I bring this up because I feel this relates to a lot of the people my roommates and I are working with. Many, if not a majority of them cannot afford to fly to where their families are. Many, if not the majority of them spend Christmas by themselves and absolutely hate the holidays. Don't worry, friends, I am still the same ol' Buddy the Elf you love and adore, but I cannot help but feel a little down from time to time. In these last 10 days before the big day, I really want to focus my attention off of myself and look more toward those that cannot be with their families for the holidays, the ones that may not have anyone to be with or anywhere to go for the holidays and the ones who dread the holidays because it means, "just another day I'm away from the ones I love," as one person told me last week. That's my goal and I just thought I'd share it with you..."through the years, we all will be together, if the fates allow; and have yourself a merry little Christmas now."

We The People

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

This past weekend, my roommates and I traveled down to Philadelphia for the JVC Christmas party and to see the sites. We visited the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, Love Park, City Hall and the Reading Train Station. The entire weekend filled me with American pride; you can't help but feel patriotic while in that city.

While at Independence Hall, we went through the tour that explained how the Constitution was agreed or disagreed on and the process of signing the U.S. Constitution.

At one point, our tour guide quoted the Constitution when she said, "The Constitution was the first U.S. document where all parties agreed that religion had no place in politics. They had seen the downfall of that type of government in England and believed that religion was personal, between you and God. Therefore, they all agreed that Church and State affairs were separate ordeals and in 1791 the first amendment was written: 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.'"

It got me to thinking about the ideals of our founding fathers and the ideals of our current officials. It seems to me, that religion is more apparent now in our society than I can ever remember it being in the past. People use religion to fight wars, to isolate others, to declare superiority and so on. It's saddens me to think that we've strayed so far from the original purpose of the Constitution...Independence, freedom and equal rights for all; regardless of your religion, gender, sexual orientation, color, ability or age. I couldn't help but listen to our tour guide and question the "progression" of my government.

It was great to see where my country started, to see where all the business of government went down and to recognize the initial stages of my country but I can't help but wonder if we are still 'establishing justice', 'insuring domestic tranquility' or even 'promoting general welfare' for all currently. Are we maintaining these ideals that made us unique? Are we thinking as a 'we' still or has it become a 'me' kind of country? I love my country, I just wonder if the founding fathers would recognize the government it first started so many years ago.

Tis the Season...

I was speaking with a co-worker about Christmas and "the season of giving" today and she brought something to my attention that I had never considered or thought of before now.

Our economy is in a recession, you'd have to be living under a rock to not be aware of this fact and my co-worker was relaying the difficulty her husband and her were having in getting gifts for their 9-year-old and 4-year-old. She said they had been dropping hints to their 9-year-old like, "you know, we're in a recession and Santa may not be able to give you what you want for Christmas this year." Their 9-year-old would respond with, "I know, mom, that's why I put things on the list like a diamond necklace for my mom and a new car for my dad. Santa can do anything...he pays his elves in hot chocolate so don't worry, mom, the recession won't bother him." This brought up a sad truth: how do you tell a 9-year-old that Santa won't be able to get him things this Christmas, how do you tell a 9-year-old that Santa can't do anything without bursting his bubble?

JVC has given me an easy out for Christmas this year. I have no money (literally) so I can tell people, sorry, I can't get you anything this year and they understand. But what if you don't have an easy out? What if you're limited in what you can give and have to tell your 9-year-old and face his disappointment?

Christmas is the season of giving, hence I love the season so much. It is a time to be grateful for what have but what if you can only dwell on what you don't have? There are so many who can barely afford to have a nice meal for Christmas, not to mention afford gifts from Santa. I hate to see the Christmas spirit die out and I hate even more to see kids not able to feel the magic of Santa. My co-worker said she explained to her 9-year-old that what's important is that they are all together during the season, but when you're nine, does that really matter much?

I guess all I wanted to convey was this story, and hope that those of you who do read this and can give, give to a toy drive or donate to the wonderful people ringing the bells for the Salvation Army; or if you can't give, remember what the season is for: to love what or who you have, hold them close and thank God for the blessings He has given you this year. Try to keep the Christmas magic alive even if the recession is bogging you down. God Bless!