Now that my name has been slapped on the door and my first two weeks worth of lesson plans have been written; my time to shine has come.
School opens for us at 8:30am. I got to work as soon as the building opened at 7am because I didn't want any last minute things to pop up. I wore my "dress to impress" outfit that also screamed "teacher" as I stood in front of the mirror in my classroom bathroom...too funny how we dress to fit the job we want or even the job we have.
At 8:30am, they came rolling in and it just took off from there. The statistical break down of my classroom goes as follows: 14 kids total: 7 Pre-K and 7 Kindergarten. 8 are ESL and 5 are special needs. It's a very "diverse" group to say the least but I always think of Mama T and her wise words: "God doesn't give me more than I can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much!"
The morning was alright because the kids were on their best behavior and as we approached recess at 11:30am, the fidgets became more obvious and the attention spans became less and less in length. We only had 9 today, but it felt like 30. My lead teacher and I were managing behavior as we chased one child off a table and another from playing around in the bathroom. The boy who climbed on the table also climbed on the window sill, punched me numerous times and ran out of classroom at one point. He has sensory and developmental delays so he's not always the most conscious of his physical actions. When he smiles though, it makes the bruises worth it. His toothy grin, missing one baby tooth, smack dab in the front and blob of hair stacked on top of his head combined with his laugh make his punches worth it.
One child called my lead teacher over and paused for a long time and finally piped up only to say, "Mr. McMahon, I like you." It was an old fashioned heart pat for sure.
I have another child who knows very little English. So I am practicing my Spanish with him. He cannot even name all the colors in Spanish so we're going to set goals for him as well. But by the end of the day, he realized that I was the only one who understood him, who could answer his questions and listen to him so he took to me. He hates dancing, but I am going to try to see past that...hahaha. It feels good to use my degree, to use the strategies I picked up in the ESL Ed. classes and see a child actually excited to be able to communicate with someone.
All in all, I am exhausted, my body aches and my head hurts but my heart is full. It is so full. I was nervous and apprehensive about pursuing this age group and teaching but today, despite everything, I am where I belong. I feel like I took a slight detour of exploration and self-growth and wound up back where I started; where I always knew I belonged deep down inside...these kids are going to continue to fill my heart and then break it once they graduate Kindergarten; and I am excited for that.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Moving Forward, Occasionally Looking Back
I am now one week into my new job and new life, post JVC. I'm not sure if it was in seeing old co-workers for the first time since leaving or moving furniture into my new place but either way, it's starting to hit me now that a new chapter has begun.
I left Miriams with a heavy heart. As I looked around the staff table at each person who I've shared laughs with and frustrations with, I remember thinking, "this was special. These people are special and this won't happen again; this will never happen again." I think the challenge in realizing that is trying to take comfort in that time we've shared together and not dwell in it. I remember a quote my friend from Bellingham sent me that read, "People generally come into our lives for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime" and I am challenged to view my life changes and transitions with that lens; instead of a "this isn't fair" kind of attitude.
During my final afternoon shift, my departure announcement was made right before dinner, during which a guest gave me one of his paintings. I was given multiple bead necklaces that are now hanging on my door in my new place and said countless goodbyes. A guest who has become a close friend of mine waited until she was about to leave for the weekend and approached me. This guest found out she had breast cancer in early July and we had met multiple times to talk about her acceptance and the chemo process she is doing. She's a tough cookie, but when cancer was staring her in the face, all she could do was coil up and revert in. My outspoken friend taught me a lot about life, love and friendship throughout our three months of getting to know each other. As she approached me, I could see the tears already forming, I could see the struggle in her body language as she tried to hold it all back and she took my hands and said, "You are amazing; thank you for everything. You changed my life, you think you did so little, but you did so much. I will survive, I will survive and I will fight because I now have people fighting with me. I love you so much, Katie." We were clasping each other's hands so tightly; I guess it's all we thought we had to hold on to.
After emptying my desk, I left work at 6:30pm and went home to even more emotional craziness. My community went out to dinner together, came home and watched a slideshow of our year together, shared highs and lows of the year and then Colleen gave each of us a surprise box full of cards, notes and quotes from co-workers. It was a beautiful night with us, just us, remembering and loving each other.
The next day, Britt left. Colleen, Cara and I cleaned and did last minute stuff and by Saturday night, I moved in most of my boxes to my new place. Saturday night was my last night in that house and we all slept in the living room of course...hahaha...can't beat the A/C. The next day we said our goodbyes and each parted ways. I opened the door to my new apartment, looked in and saw plastic utensils and cups, paper plates, air mattresses and boxes and boxes of clothing.The next chapter was starting before I could blink my eyes.
I started my new job Monday. I walked into the school and quickly learned how new I was. I am the only first year teacher and I am the only one who's never taught Kindergarten before. BUT I remember January 2012, when I walked into Miriams as the only one to never work with people experiencing homelessness and I take some small comfort in that. So tomorrow marks week two of my new journey as an adult, with an apartment and a salary. I have a to-do list the size of the Washington monument, but I need to remember to continue to occasionally look back; to occasionally remember the ways I shined when I never thought I would and to remember the people who helped make me shine the most.
I left Miriams with a heavy heart. As I looked around the staff table at each person who I've shared laughs with and frustrations with, I remember thinking, "this was special. These people are special and this won't happen again; this will never happen again." I think the challenge in realizing that is trying to take comfort in that time we've shared together and not dwell in it. I remember a quote my friend from Bellingham sent me that read, "People generally come into our lives for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime" and I am challenged to view my life changes and transitions with that lens; instead of a "this isn't fair" kind of attitude.
During my final afternoon shift, my departure announcement was made right before dinner, during which a guest gave me one of his paintings. I was given multiple bead necklaces that are now hanging on my door in my new place and said countless goodbyes. A guest who has become a close friend of mine waited until she was about to leave for the weekend and approached me. This guest found out she had breast cancer in early July and we had met multiple times to talk about her acceptance and the chemo process she is doing. She's a tough cookie, but when cancer was staring her in the face, all she could do was coil up and revert in. My outspoken friend taught me a lot about life, love and friendship throughout our three months of getting to know each other. As she approached me, I could see the tears already forming, I could see the struggle in her body language as she tried to hold it all back and she took my hands and said, "You are amazing; thank you for everything. You changed my life, you think you did so little, but you did so much. I will survive, I will survive and I will fight because I now have people fighting with me. I love you so much, Katie." We were clasping each other's hands so tightly; I guess it's all we thought we had to hold on to.
After emptying my desk, I left work at 6:30pm and went home to even more emotional craziness. My community went out to dinner together, came home and watched a slideshow of our year together, shared highs and lows of the year and then Colleen gave each of us a surprise box full of cards, notes and quotes from co-workers. It was a beautiful night with us, just us, remembering and loving each other.
The next day, Britt left. Colleen, Cara and I cleaned and did last minute stuff and by Saturday night, I moved in most of my boxes to my new place. Saturday night was my last night in that house and we all slept in the living room of course...hahaha...can't beat the A/C. The next day we said our goodbyes and each parted ways. I opened the door to my new apartment, looked in and saw plastic utensils and cups, paper plates, air mattresses and boxes and boxes of clothing.The next chapter was starting before I could blink my eyes.
I started my new job Monday. I walked into the school and quickly learned how new I was. I am the only first year teacher and I am the only one who's never taught Kindergarten before. BUT I remember January 2012, when I walked into Miriams as the only one to never work with people experiencing homelessness and I take some small comfort in that. So tomorrow marks week two of my new journey as an adult, with an apartment and a salary. I have a to-do list the size of the Washington monument, but I need to remember to continue to occasionally look back; to occasionally remember the ways I shined when I never thought I would and to remember the people who helped make me shine the most.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
It's the Final Countdown
Tomorrow marks the end of my two-year-long journey. Two years...370 days later and what do I have to say?
As I reflect on these two years, I think about my growth and the impact others have had on my life. I re-read old blog entries or journal entries and am awed by the affect others have had on me.
To say I am "Ruined for Life" is true but it doesn't even begin to touch on the growth I've experienced or the experiences I've had. I have been blessed. I am "Blessed for Life" because of this experience. Through finding my inner strength and love of children in Bridgeport to the sense of self and independence I learned in DC, I have changed and I have those around me to attribute it to.
My kids introduced me to myself. They stripped away all my insecurities, my faults, my failures and let me love and be loved for me. They taught me love, Agape love, and I will forever cherish that.
My men and women experiencing homelessness introduced me to pain. They stripped away my stereotypes, my judgements and let me love and be loved for who we each are. They taught me strength, they taught me power, they taught me resilience, they taught me acceptance.
To say I am thankful is an understatement...I am beyond thankful...I am indebted. The Cardinal Shehan Center/Bridgeport, Miriam's Kitchen/DC and all those scattered in between have changed me and I am indebted to them for that. The people I got to know and love, the places I have gotten to see and the memories I have gotten to form are priceless and I am grateful for these past two years of love, loss, tears, laughter, challenge, growth, learning, acceptance and faith.
Thank you to everyone. Thanks Mom and Dad for your constant support and belief in me; thank you friends in Bellingham, friends in Bridgeport, friends in DC and friends in Vancouver, WA. Thank you community mates. Thank you co-workers. Thank you guests, kids and clients. Thank you JVC...I have been certainly blessed for life.
My new mailing address is:
370Taylor Street NE Apt. S32
Washington DC 20017
Love you all!
As I reflect on these two years, I think about my growth and the impact others have had on my life. I re-read old blog entries or journal entries and am awed by the affect others have had on me.
To say I am "Ruined for Life" is true but it doesn't even begin to touch on the growth I've experienced or the experiences I've had. I have been blessed. I am "Blessed for Life" because of this experience. Through finding my inner strength and love of children in Bridgeport to the sense of self and independence I learned in DC, I have changed and I have those around me to attribute it to.
My kids introduced me to myself. They stripped away all my insecurities, my faults, my failures and let me love and be loved for me. They taught me love, Agape love, and I will forever cherish that.
My men and women experiencing homelessness introduced me to pain. They stripped away my stereotypes, my judgements and let me love and be loved for who we each are. They taught me strength, they taught me power, they taught me resilience, they taught me acceptance.
To say I am thankful is an understatement...I am beyond thankful...I am indebted. The Cardinal Shehan Center/Bridgeport, Miriam's Kitchen/DC and all those scattered in between have changed me and I am indebted to them for that. The people I got to know and love, the places I have gotten to see and the memories I have gotten to form are priceless and I am grateful for these past two years of love, loss, tears, laughter, challenge, growth, learning, acceptance and faith.
Thank you to everyone. Thanks Mom and Dad for your constant support and belief in me; thank you friends in Bellingham, friends in Bridgeport, friends in DC and friends in Vancouver, WA. Thank you community mates. Thank you co-workers. Thank you guests, kids and clients. Thank you JVC...I have been certainly blessed for life.
My new mailing address is:
370Taylor Street NE Apt. S32
Washington DC 20017
Love you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)