Today's Lessons

Alright so today's lessons are brought to you by a 65-year-old man at my work who is currently homeless and originally from the Ivory Coast, I believe. He doesn't look 65, but he is and will remind you of how young he looks any chance he gets.

So today he told me three life lessons and told me I needed to put them in a book one day, but I need to quote him or else I would be a liar...his words, not mine.

The three bits of advice he wanted to bestow on such a "beautiful young woman" are:

1) Don't have kids.
2) Don't get married.
3) Don't be a hypocrite because it ages you.

I think the most important aspect of these is not just noting where he is coming from and his value system but also the last bit of advice. He didn't say, don't be a mean person or a liar or a thief or murderer or homeless person...he said hypocrite.

On reflection, I think about the hypocrisies in my life. Too many times I get caught up in the "they"...what are "they" doing? In what ways are "they" not meeting expectations? In what ways are "they" not pushing themselves enough? I noticed I put too much focus on the "they" and not enough on the unselfish "me". As I focus on others and their issues I take the focus off of me and the different ways I don't measure up. I think that's my hypocrisy. I work every day to help homeless men accept their failures and problem solve to rise above them and I fall short in taking that very same hard look in the mirror.

In being of service to others, I think I lose sight of looking at individuals and see the group. I look at the 150 men I work with and say, "alright, how can I cut down this line or assist many in an efficient way?" The service isn't found there, it helps, but it's not in the "how many can I cross of the help list" mindset; it's in the "how can I be fully present, and fully a friend, to this man right now?" My hypocrisy that is aging me can be found in my focus on treating the masses, instead of the individual, and in the "they" mentality...I am reminded of the last line in Mother Theresa's poem, "Anyway": "You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway."