Lately I've been really stressed out about applications and interviews for a second year with JVC, working at the Shehan Center, homesickness, my sister's wedding, traveling to Nashville in two weeks, trying to stay in contact with everyone back home and life in general.
This week has been especially stressful and I have not exactly handled the stress with the most grace and confidence as I usually do. I have taken the route of bottling up my nerves/anticipation/worries and cooping myself up in my room for hours on end. I haven't been as present in my community and haven't interacted as much with my kids as I should be.
With that said, I talked to my mother last night and she heard me carry on and on about my stresses and she said, without any hesitation, "oh my dear, Katie, dock your worry boat. What will be will be." In the immortal ways only a mother could truly understand, she hit the nail on the head. This week has proven to challenge my faith and trust in God. I must dock my worry boat and let God take over. All the effort and work I've done is basically done and the rest will play out as God wants it to. If I get into the additional year program, if I get the bridesmaids dress of my dreams, if my kids grow and learn from me is all in God's hands and I need to trust that His hands will take care of me.
This weekend is the Camden Valentine's Day party and it'll be nice to relax, unwind and see everyone that I haven't seen in about a month. It'll be nice to get out of Bridgeport for a little bit and to see Philly again. I think I need to concentrate less on the worrying and more on the moments; more on the intentional time I spend with my housemates and friends in Bridgeport and more on my faith in God. It's time to dock my worry boat, and trust that if God wants it to sail, it'll go in the direction He chooses. Life is too short to be worrying all the time.
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