A Walk Home From Work

Tuesday, Sept. 20th, 2011: Today I am grateful for wake up calls...for chance encounters with people. On my way home from work yesterday, I stepped out of my building at 5:02pm onto 9th and P Street and immediately to my left was a middle-aged man, worn down and ragged and I bid him my usual "hello" accompanied with a smile and I continued on my way. He locked his glazed over eyes with mine and said, "sister, sister! can you help me out?" I looked over my shoulder and turned around; he was slumping over and trying to keep his head up straight. He continued, "can you spare me some money? I won't even get something to drink with it. I'll buy food. I am so hungry." I looked at him, with my eyebrows raised in a sympathetic arch, "I have no money, no cash at all. I'm sorry." I turned away and he said, "not even nine pennies? You don't even have nine pennies?"

Now I don't know why I stopped, or why I even entertained his plea for so long, but I turned around and said, "ya know what, I can look. I can look to see if I have any change, but I don't think I do." So I walked back over to him, put my backpack down and said, "let me see what I can find." As I was rummaging through my bag, he said, "my name is Michael, what is your name?" In between pushing my umbrella aside and shifting my lunchbox, I said, "my name is Katie and it's nice to meet you, Michael." He responded, "Katie is a beautiful name. We should write a book together." Still searching for change, I said, "well that works for me. I love writing." Just then I found a dime and said, "hey! look here, I found 10 cents! Here ya go, Michael. I'm sorry that's all I have." He took it, gave me a straight and very serious look as he straightened himself up as I threw my backpack over my shoulder and headed to leave, Michael said, "and sister, don't go judging yourself too hard about it; you're not sorry."

His parting words resonated with me until now and probably will for the rest of my life. This idea of "sorry". The idea that although I gave him basically all I had, I wasn't truly, deeply sorry for not giving him more...I mean, I didn't go home and beat myself up about it or cry myself to sleep about it. In many respects, if I hadn't of stopped to even talk to Michael, than I wouldn't have even remembered seeing him or passing him by on the streets. He would've just been another homeless man I passed by and didn't put much stock in. But Michael's parting words challenged me in many ways but most specifically, to take the extra moment and, although I have nothing to give, be truly sincere in my interactions with people. If I ever write a book, I think I have my title now: "Don't Judge Yourself Too Hard About Not Being Sorry"...thanks Michael, I saw Jesus in you today.