My mama is a wise woman and continues to amaze me with her brilliance and perfect timing. The above quote is what greeted my g-mail this morning...after all the stressing and freaking out and pity party-ness I've been throwing, my mama sent me that quote:
"My sanity is inversely proportional to my expectations."
I never try to come into situations with expectations because if I have none, than I can't be let down (sorry, for such a pessimistic thought). Last year, when I began JVC, my only expectation was that I was going where God needed me to be and the people I'd meet would make my world better. Simple enough and good enough that although it proved tricky at times, it was definitely met.
BUT this year, I guess I let my mind run away with my heart and my expectations got way too large or high for my own good. Nothing has really gone the way I wanted it to, but my own sanity (or lack there of) is a direct result of the high expectations I had of this year. It's only my second week and I expected things to be as amazing as I ended things at the Shehan...silly thought...what I am grateful for today is:
Wednesday, August 31, 2011: I am grateful for determination. I am grateful for the little voice inside of me, deep within the layers of expectations and doubt that is telling me that my efforts are for something greater than myself. I am grateful for my mama, who continues to remind me of why I started this whole roller-coaster ride of crazy volunteering in the first place. In the end, it's not about me...it's not even about my sanity...it's about me meeting the expectations of others that matter most; not my own selfish hopes. This year is here for me to provide to all around me, not just the poor and marginalized, but those I see on the bus, on my walk to the Washington Monument, in the grocery store, my co-workers and my housemates. It's about a collective sanity and the only expectation I can carry with that is to encourage growth and love of all. Thanks, mama.
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